16.03.2022
Why won't you love me mom? What did I do? What makes me such a bad daughter?
Why won't you love me? Is it really this hard for you? Why do you love him more? Why it's not me?
WHAT DID I DO?
You probably don't know, huh. You'd never admit that you love him more.
I got better grades.For you. I finished music school. For you.
And what do I get? Nothing. I'm just nothing to you. You don't want me to be happy.
Why? What did i do?
18.03.2022
I don't have energy for this. You won't ever love me. I'm used to it.
I'm used to your high standars, to you making me always the bad one. Why you didn't want to help me?
You were always saying that I can tell you anything, and now, when I needed your help and support, you did nothing.
You said that my problems do not matter. That others have bigger problems than I do. That you hate people that complain about their lives.
Did you really thought that it's a good thing to say to your daughter? To a person that trusted you.
Or maybe you thought that judging how do I look constantly was a great thing to do? Spoiler alert - It was not.
You know I'm just amazed by your blindness. Or maybe you DO see my suffering and yet you choose to not do anything.
24.03.2022
I fucking hate you mom, yk? I don't know if you're actually serious bc your fucking rules are like some not funny joke.
But okay I can eat even less!! Not a big deal to me. How about that hm? I just wait for you to my scars.
I just don't understand why do you want to ruin me so bad. Why?
Why are you calling me a fat pig. Why do you body shame your daughter hm??
Fucking congrats, now I hate my body!! Go celebrate or whatever. Do you really think that you're doing this for my good? No.
What made you think it's a good idea? Why you won't pay attention to for example, hm i don't know, maybe my scars??
I hate you so fucking much. And the worst part is that I have to worship you because otherwise you will be mad at me. Fuck you.
07.04.2022
Fucking congrats mom. Your 15 years old daughter sees herself as an sexual object. Because of you,
when I don't sexualize myself i feel ugly and I can't see myself as someone who is just genuinly pretty.
11.04.2022
I really can't guess what you thought when you were saying that in clothes i want to wear i will look like a slut.
I was just a child then. I just wanted to dress pretty. I wanted to have a style.
I just wanted pretty clothes. How could you say that in cat ears i will look like a pornstar. I was fucking 13.
I didn't even thought that you would sexualize honestly every item of clothing i found pretty.
Your are ruining my image of my body. I don't want to be sexualized and yet I can't do anything.
Because you think it's funny. It's not. Please stop. I don't want you to sexualize me.
I'm just a child. I'm feeling horrible. I don't wanna be sexualized. Please don't do that.
It's not funny. It disgusts me. My body disgusts me. You disgust me. Please stop it. Please.